Faith, hope and charity, abide these three, the greatest of these is charity.
(1 Corinthians 13:13)

According to legend, Valentine was a priest in third century Rome. During the reign of Emperor Claudius II, in an effort to build up his armies, Claudius is said to have outlawed marriage to all men who had not already served 12 years in the Roman legions. Valentine defied this callous decree of Claudius by secretly arranging marriages of young men and women. When Valentine's defiance was discovered by the Emperor, he was brutally beaten and put to death by the Emperor's archers on February 14, about 270 AD. Hence the arrow through the heart that later became associated with cupid.

For his martyrdom and dedication, he was named a Saint after his death. In 498 St, Valentine's Day was made an official feast day of the Church. Thus, Saint Valentine's Day became an occasion to celebrate romantic love. His day became particularly important in the Middle Ages as romantic, or courtly love became fashionable. After Vatican II, St. Valentine's Day was moved by the Catholic Church to the optional, lesser feasts. but his day remains very important, even if our secular society has removed the "saint" from his name. Valentine's Day, which is today, is a day dedicated to the idea of romantic love.

Romantic Love, of course, is the world's most popular subject. Go into any library or bookstore and you will be amazed at the number of books on romantic love. Love stories, love songs, love poems, love letters etc. fill the shelves. Switch on the radio or TV or go to the movies and you will be met with endless stories with romantic love as a theme. Young people seek "true love" and dream about 'falling in love'. But, strange as it may seem, for all this attention, 'love' is also the most misunderstood word in the world. What is love? Does anybody know what love is? I'm sure millions do. But can you define the word love? It's easier to say what 'love is not' or what 'love does not do' than to say 'what love is.' Yes, what is love? The Oxford Dictionary defines the word 'love' as:

1. A warm liking or affection for a person, affectionate devotion.
2. Sexual affection or passion.
3. God's benevolence towards mankind.
4. Strong liking for a thing. i.e. the love of music.
5. No score. (in games as in tennis)

Notice the words: liking, affection, devotion, passion and benevolence.

Types of love
This morning we will first consider 'love' in the normally accepted sense of the term: liking, affection, devotion, passion and end by concentrating on the definition, 'God's benevolence towards mankind.' Then we will see if we can duplicate part of God's love in our lives towards Him and others. In scripture there are various Greek words translated as "love" in English. Since our use of the word love is vague, we can miss the point easily. Sometimes when we encounter the word "love" in the Bible it means:

Maternal Love
This is one of the best forms of human love. It begins at birth and lasts as long as a mother lives. Your mother is the first person to love you and, as long as she is alive, the last person on earth to forsake you. Mother love is probably the purest and most unselfish type of human love there is. Mothers love for what they can give, not for what they can get from their children. Mother love is pure affection and devotion. It's impossible to describe. Individuals learn to love others by receiving love from their mothers. When mother love is absent, and this does happen occasionally, a child may grow up feeling rejected and become itself emotionally stunted. Such a child may well become incapable of loving others, simply because it has never received love from its own mother or father.

"Familial" or Family Love
This comes next, father, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. We love all of these in a different way. No matter how we may quarrel with the family, we can never alter the fact that genetically we are related, and because nothing can change that fact, families generally cling together.

Love of Friends/Neighbors
Our love for them is different from our love for our families. This love depends upon shared interests, conditions, experiences, dangers or religious beliefs. These things bring people together in friendship.

Marital Love
The love of a man for his wife, or a wife for her husband is something totally different. No happily married couple can properly explain marital love. It is indefinable. It manifests itself in a thousand different ways. That is why we have tens of thousands of love stories coming on to the market every year; each in its own way telling the wonders of love between a man and a woman. I know! I've been married to my wife since 1973 and, if I may say so, I love her more today than I did yesterday and much less than I will tomorrow!

The Love of God
Finally we come to God's love for mankind. No likes and dislikes sexual affection or passion here; but 'divine benevolence.' The dictionary defines the word 'benevolence' as: wishing to do good to others, kindly, helpful and charitable. Most modern translations of the Bible have replaced the word charity with the word love. Both words come from the same root; but because the word love is so misunderstood these days, being used primarily for romantic or erotic love, or simply to express strong feelings "I love baseball or I love ice cream" the phrase 'God is love' has lost the power of its meaning. One of the strong points of the King James (or "Authorized") Bible is that it uses the word "charity" in this context, which conveys the true meaning. "faith hope and charity, abide these three, but the greatest of these is charity." By this word "charity, St. Paul means benevolence; and in God's case, 'divine benevolence'.

God Loves You
We must be taught about God's love. Taught what it is and what it is not. We must be taught that God loves the world; and, more importantly, that He loves each of us. He loves you and He loves me. No doubt you've heard that truth before, that 'God loves you' Its been voiced so often that many people treat it as a meaningless cliché. But it is a fact, a great truth. 'GOD LOVES YOU' Understanding of that fact could well be the most important discovery of your life, that God loves you! Not likes you, but loves you with benevolent affection.

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom:5:8: 4-5) But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved). (Eph: 2)

Pause awhile and think about that fact. Indeed, bring it to mind every day. Because it is a fact which could, if you so choose, regulate every thought, word and action of your life.

What is true love?
We now know that love is always affection, but Scripture makes it clear that love, in the sense of God's benevolence towards man, is the sacred, motivating principle that describes Almighty God's behavior towards mankind. It is not a matter of likes or dislikes towards friends or enemies. Rather, love is the leading component in God's character. Everything He does is guided by this principle. Though His love may manifest itself emotionally (i.e. in anger or joy) love is far more than the emotions it generates. Love is the holy motivating force at the heart of God! Even God's judgment proceeds from his love of mankind.

To be sure, generosity, mercy, patience, kindness, tender-heartedness etc. are all outcomes of God's benevolence — His love. But God's love is the motivating force behind all these beautiful outcomes. That's why the Bible says that God is love! We catch a glimpse of God's love, His character, His inner mind in the following passage from the 34th chapter of Exodus (v. 5-7)

And the LORD descended in the cloud, and stood with him (Moses) there, and proclaimed the name of the LORD. And the LORD passed by before him, and proclaimed, The LORD, The LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation.

Here we have a description of the LORD God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the God of Love!

• He is Merciful … This is a divine outcome of love.
• He is Gracious … This is a divine outcome of love.
• He is Abundant in Goodness and Truth … This is a divine outcome of love.
• He keeps mercy for thousands and forgives iniquity and transgression and sin … These are all divine outcomes and expressions of God's love.

But God will by no means clear the guilty! Here is another divine outcome of love; it is justice! This is perhaps the most difficult of all to understand.

Notice that these 'divine outcomes and expressions of love' are very different from the likes, dislikes, emotions and passions we humans mistakenly call 'love'.

There are many examples of each type of true love in the Bible. `But we must be careful not to attach the wrong meaning to these as not all deal with God's charitable love of mankind.

When St. John declares that "God is love" it is clear from the context that he means the benevolent love of God for his creation. Like St. Paul, John declares that a merciful God loves us even while we are sinners.

So great is Satan's hatred for God that anything associated with the Almighty: His Word, His commandments, His Sabbaths, His people and even the language that describes Him is attacked, vilified and twisted. As believers we need to know what the Bible means when it says: 'God is love' or 'love one another'. Failure to understand what the Bible is telling us will result in missing the heart of the Gospel. We need to understand what Jesus means when He says:

Love one another as I have loved you.

Remember that love must not be confused with feelings, likes, dislikes or emotional demonstrations. Love is a divine, motivating principle which emanates from the mind of God! Love is holy benevolence. Though love may manifest itself in mercy, kindness, honesty, generosity and patience etc.. Love is not soppy sentimentality! Love is how God behaves. Love recognizes sin for what it really is. Love abhors unbelief, profanity and blatant sin. Love offers itself sacrificially. The greatest examples of love are God sending His only Son into the world and the offering of that Son on the cross for our sins.

How do we return God's love? Well first, if you want love to take root and grow in your life, then keep the Lord's commandments. Jesus said: If ye love me, keep my commandments. John14:15 He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. I (John 2:4)

But obedience to these commands is only possible if we recognize love for what it really is: the holy benevolence of God, working in us, and motivating us to be like Him. It is in this vein that Christ declares "love your enemies".

If we want to see what "true love is" we should examine the life of Christ in whom we see all the fruits of the Spirit.

If you wish to measure your spiritual progress, ask yourself if the fruits of the spirit are evident in your life: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, mercy, kindness etc. If they are missing, then you know very little — if anything — about true love.

This being St. Valentine's Day, I think it is only right that we extend the implications of this teaching to marriage.

Successful marriages certainly begin at the romantic level, and that can and should continue and deepen as a couple continues in their life together. But true love encompasses more than romance. One cannot learn about true love from books or movies or pop music. What does God say about married love? Go to Ephesians 5: 21-33

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh". This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

It is a paradox, that the way to have a happy marriage is strive to make each other happy, to put the other party first — to mutually submit — to love benevolently and sacrificially. Needless to say, our human falleness gets in the way. To the extent we can do this at all it is by the grace of God. But it is in this kind of relationship — one which emulates the love of Christ for His Church — that we discover the meaning of true love.

One cannot fall into true love; or make true love. It is not an earthly product. True love is made in heaven! Happy marriages are made in heaven. True love is extinguished by unbelief, suspicion, profanity, selfishness, greed, pride, slander, violence, infidelity and lack of respect. True love is found in a husband's loving his wife sacrificially — as Christ loved the Church. True love is found in a wife's faithful obedience of such a husband — even as the Church is faithful to Christ.

St. Paul declares: this is a great mystery, a holy thing that reflects the love of Christ (the Bridegroom) for His Bride (the Church). It is built upon faith and hope that ends in charity and embodies all the virtues St. Paul enumerates.

Faith, hope and charity, abide these three, the greatest of these is charity.